Story HOH Submission !!!

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Story HOH Submission !!!

Post by Tinker Bell on Sat 5 Sep - 19:23:25

Playing to be be HOH

Ham and Cheese Faces Indigestion… AGAIN! volume 1

Hero: Ham and Cheese Sandwich
Physical description: She is a ham and cheese sandwich with legs and arms (no face)
Actress: Scarlett Johanson
Cliche Biography: Ham and Cheese Sandwich is a young girl who goes by the name of Ham, Cheese, or Ham-Cheese. She wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy and drops it like it’s hot every night of the week. She’s a girl who just likes to have fun. But she hasn’t had an easy life. When she was just a young Ham-Cheese, she nearly died. DIED. She uses partying to escape the trauma that haunts her. She has nightmares when she sleeps. So she parties until the sun comes up.

Villain: INDIgestion
Physical description: runny diarrahea poo
Actor: Louisiana Governor and Republican Presidential Candidate Bobby Jindal
Biography: INDIgestion sucks. He Pooping sucks. He doesn’t know how to do a damn thing right. He’s horrible. He’s mean. Worst of all, he’s an idiot. Do you know what it’s like to be an idiot? You wouldn’t know because idiots don’t know they’re idiots. INDIgestion is DUMB AS ROCKS. He’s literally so stupid and toxic.

Once upon a time, Ham-Cheese was sitting and playing with her own hands. She twiddled her thumbs because she doesn’t have a face and she can’t see so it’s difficult for her to do much else. She was smelling pretty delicious as she sat there and twiddled her thumbs. Then she got an idea: I want to be ambitious! She had never done anything else besides be good tasting but now she wanted to explore. She stood up on her thin legs and was wandering around the kitchen when she got the tingles. THE TINGLES are a feeling you get when you know someone has it out for you, but you don’t have a face so you don’t actually know what’s going on. Her legs shook. Her body trembled. Her ass shook. But she had to keep going. Ambition, she remembered. She continued her kitchen stroll when she suddenly knew what was giving her the tingles. It wasn’t a thing, it was a WHO. Could it be? Yes, INDIgestion had returned. He spit on her and farted and pooped in her non-face and she fell to the ground, weakened. What an idiot, she thought to herself. She rolled all around on the floor trying to get the acid off of her and luckily she’s not tasty absorbent so it actually worked. There’s only one thing I can do… I have to kill this idiot. The sink? The fridge? The oven? The stove? Then she saw it’s glistening silver blade even without having eyes… a plate. She grabbed the blade-plate and smashed it over INDIgestion’s stupid head and knocked him unconscious. The plate broke and she took a sharp ceramic piece and stabbed him. AGAIN. And AGAIN. Three. Four. FIVE. DEATH. INDIgestion died. But she secretly knew that he would be back, and so would the tingles. Ham-Cheese would always have her tingles, that’s how she’s so good at dancing. So for now, her and her tingles would dance. They didn’t live happily ever after… And they lived happily ever after.

The End.
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Tinker Bell

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